Compassion Fatigue
“How do you
listen to those stories all day long then go home to your family?”
“How do you
separate work and home?”
These are
questions I get asked all the time by clinicians and non-clinicians alike. The answer isn’t an easy one. It’s actually more of a journey. I have spent more than 12 years working in some
capacity with trauma victims. The terms ‘compassion
fatigue’, ‘secondary trauma syndrome’, ‘burnout’ have all been thrown around,
trained on, and warned about throughout my entire career. I learned early on what this was when I would
go to dinner with my husband and space out thinking back on a client’s session
I’d had that week. Or when I would jump
when someone would hug me, preparing for them to attack me. Then there were the times that I would wake
up from a nightmare in which I experienced my client’s ‘story’ as they had told
it to me. Quickly I learned that something had to change
about what I was doing in order for me to keep helping in the field I
loved. I was so fortunate to have great
mentors who spoke into me early on in my career and whom I felt safe enough to
ask for help. What I learned from them
are 5 ways to help prevent compassion fatigue.
1.
Set Boundaries – With clients and with your friends
and family. You should not be the only
one your client relies on. Use community
resources and hotlines, create safety plans that involve other numbers and
people to call other than you. Set
boundaries with your friends and family by not going to gatherings if you need
the rest and self care time. Find other
resources to help your friends and family so that you are not the main provider
for them as well as your clients.
2.
Set a ritual to leave it at the office- For me I
bow my head and offer up each of my clients I’ve seen for the day in
prayer. I give them to the Great big God
that I serve who can help them a lot better than I can outside of the
office. I then get up and literally
leave it there in God’s hands. As I
leave my office I turn my mind over to what needs to be done when I get home
and call my husband to switch gears into home life. Setting some kind of ritual for yourself
that you do every time you leave your office as a way of ‘Leaving it there’ can
greatly increase your separation from it when you leave.
3.
Create your own container- In EMDR Therapy we use a resource
called a container where we use guided imagery to create a container of any
shape and size needed to contain disturbing materials for clients. I have my own container for the hard stuff I
hear. When I can’t seem to stop thinking
about it, I close my eyes and send it to my container in my office to be pulled
out and examined when I have time and space set aside on a work day.
4.
Practice Mindfulness living – Learn the art of gently bringing
yourself back to the present moment.
When you catch yourself recalling a session with a client, gently let it
fade out of consciousness and pull your focus back to the present moment
focusing on the 5 senses of sight, smell, taste, touch, hearing. Continue to do this whenever you catch
yourself and let yourself truly feel the moment you are living in.
5.
Seek your own therapy if needed- One of the greatest forms of self
care is realizing that you may need some help getting past either your own
story or a client’s story. Finding your
own therapist to process with and learn some additional tools to help separate
it can be very beneficial to both you and your clients.
As you
continue to listen to the hard stories and struggle with figuring out ‘can I
keep doing this?’ know that it is possible to do this work and stay separated. Know that there are strategies available for
helping make that easier. And know that
it is a journey. A journey that can
begin by implementing the 5 prevention steps mentioned above 1)boundaries, 2)
setting a ritual, 3) creating your own container, 4) practicing mindfulness
living, and 5) seeking your own therapy.
If you are
wondering if you may be struggling with compassion fatigue or secondary trauma,
Click Here for a helpful assessment resource that you can take, score, and then
help guide you as you begin your journey to self care.
