The ‘Stuck Place’
One of the most frustrating things that can happen in
therapy for clients and clinicians alike is getting into a ‘stuck place’. That place where the client is reporting no
progress, the therapist is running out of ideas, and a camaraderie of
hopelessness can be born. The ‘stuck
place’ can also be a petri dish for clinician and client shame (also known as
transference and counter-transference).
The clinician may cycle into blaming self; ‘I’m not good enough’, or
‘I’m just too new at this’, or ‘I’m a failure and should change jobs’. Alternatively the clinician may cycle into
blaming the client ‘they are not trying hard enough’, or ‘they have a
personality disorder and can never change’, or ‘they just don’t want it bad
enough’. The ‘stuck place’ is that
place that everyone wants to avoid, but finds themselves on occasion throughout
their career.
I’ve found that when a client and I land in a ‘stuck place’,
getting back to the basics in counseling help us get movement one way or
another. Below are some strategies to
help you and your clients if you ever find yourself in the ‘stuck place’.
1.
Call it
out!- Meaning begin your next
session with “I feel like we are in a stuck place, and I’m wondering if you
have noticed the same thing?”. Get the
client’s thoughts and feelings about where they may be stuck and strategize
together on getting movement.
2. Reassess
Client Goals – I’ve learned that one of the fastest ways to move
through the stuck place is to go back to the client’s original goals. If I cannot clearly identify what the goals
are, then the next session is spent working with the client on identifying
specific measurable goals.
3.
Evaluate
therapeutic Alliance – Have a conversation with the client about how
they feel about coming to therapy. Ask
if they feel like the current relationship is working for them or if they may
desire something different. Strategize
with the client about other options that may be out there that have not been
tried (e.g. medication, other treatment modalities, more intensive services if
needed).
4.
Consult
– Our profession can be a lonely profession. Having a small community of professionals
whom you can meet with regularly and staff the ‘stuck places’ with, not only
helps you professionally, it benefits your clients tremendously. We are never so seasoned that another
perspective can’t be helpful.
So the ‘stuck place’ doesn’t have to be a scary place, or a
petri dish. The ‘stuck place’ is
actually an opportunity for growth clinically and personally as it challenges
us to get back to the basics of good ole fashioned therapy. The ‘stuck place’ creates space to slow it
down and reevaluate. So remember the
next time you find yourself there, return to the basics 1) Call it out, 2)
reassess client goals, 3) evaluate therapeutic alliance, and 4) consult.
