The Power of
Why?
One of the
things I have realized I do in my practice is ask myself “why?” This is really
a powerful question. I remember in
school they always said avoid the question why.
So my starting off with this simple but complex word my trigger some of
you or completely put off others. If you
can stay for just a few more seconds maybe an opportunity will open up for
you.
When a
client comes in my office I immediately start an internal question of “why are
they here?” Really this word is motivated
by curiosity, and curiosity keeps me grounded and objective. Then as they share in the initial session of
why they are here I’m asking myself “why is their problem a problem?” Then as I form a hypothesis about this I ask
myself “why are they sharing what they are sharing?”
All of these
ways of asking why begin forming a hypothesis in my mind to help inform my
exploration and treatment with clients. As treatment begins, I continue with
the “whys”. The “why” helps me with evaluating countertransference,
transference, resistance, success.
Consider curiosity to help ground you in the following treatment steps.
· Setting client goals: “why are they
here?”, “Why is the problem the problem?”, “why does the problem continue to be
a problem?”
· Client Stuck Place: “Why is the
client stuck in this specific way?”, “How could this problem be helpful?”, “Why
would this problem have been helpful to them at some time in their life?”
· Countertransference: “why does this
client bother me so much?”, “why do I dread this client?”, “why do I look
forward to this client?”, “Why am I bothered when the client doesn’t meet
treatment goals quickly?”, “why do I feel relief when the client does this?”
· Transference: “Why am I the one the
client keeps calling?”, “why is the client yelling at me?”, “why did they
choose me as their therapist?”, “How is what they are doing right now normal
for them?”, “What purpose doe s this
serve for them?”
· Success: “Why did they get better?”,
“Why did this work for them?”
Asking the question of why and
staying in a curious place can help inform every phase of treatment. If you ask the question why and are
struggling with the answer maybe be curious about that, or call a colleague and
see if they can help with exploring why. If “why” is just too difficult for you, try “How” or “what” inserted in the same type
questions and just see what happens in your treatment process.
