Déjà vu
“I wish I could just understand why I keep ending up here. I keep doing the same thing over and
over. Same bad relationships, same bad
behavior, same words, same story, blah blah blah.”
It’s amazing how many times I hear this in my office. Upon further exploration, we find out there
is a history, and there is a beginning to when the ‘Déjà vu’ began. Then comes the hard part, trying to make
since of how that, way back then, is affecting here and now. One word…Trauma.
With Trauma, we often think of things like natural disaster,
physical assaults, rape, car wrecks, war experiences as traumatic. And they are, however there are other things
that can be traumatic, especially if the timing is right, and there is enough
of it, our brain actually experiences it the same as the bigger traumas. These other experiences are things like
chronic criticism from parents, emotional abuse, bullying, chronic minimizing
or belittling. Enough of one or more of
these happening in the very precious developmental time of childhood through
adolescence and your brain experiences is as traumatic.
Here is how it works: Our brain takes in this information as we
are experiencing it, if in the moment when that information comes in; 1) I have information overload (emotionally
too much, and or physically too much) 2) I am trapped in the situation with no
way to run or fight 3) I don’t have
someone telling me it’s ok, I’m safe, it won’t happen again, afterwards, then the situation gets stuck in the
processing phase in my brain. This means
it’s stuck in an active phase of trying to access information to help complete
processing. In active processing phase
my brain continues to get activated physically, emotionally, cognitively by
anything that reminds me of the original incident. If on the other hand my brain is not
overloaded, has a way to break free of the moment, or feels safe and ok, it is
able to complete processing the incident and place it in a part of my brain
where it’s just a memory.
Now enough of those incidents getting stuck in the active
processing phase and my brain starts getting triggered quite often. When that happens, I look for things that may
be familiar to help calm it down and again make since of what happened to
me. Usually the way the brain does this
is by finding similar people, situations, environments that allow me to
recreate what happened to make since of it once and for all.
So No…you are not crazy….your brain just has some incidents
that are stuck in processing mode. So
what can you do to get it unstuck?
Research tells us the following things can be helpful:
· Recognize
when you are being triggered and bring yourself back to the present moment
using the 5 senses (smell, touch, sight, taste, sound)
· Begin
incorporating Mindfulness activities (prayer, meditation, mindfulness) into
your daily routine.
· Get
involved in purposeful movement activities (Yoga, Theater, Slower Dance)
· Consider
Psychotherapy (The following links show leading forms of therapy for trauma:
· Consider
Medications (talk with a psychiatrist to find what is best for you)
Some helpful links to Resources to help with Trauma:
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